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1. Waggiest - Does your dog exude happiness? Were looking for wags that are rapid and flamboyant, and dogs that look really jolly!

2. Loveable Rogue - Does your dog always look dishevelled - no matter how much you brush and comb him? Has he got a cheeky face with mischief written all over it? If your dog can twist you around his little paw, he or she is in with a chance!

3. Handsomest Dog - If your canine has an ounce of the floppy-haired gorgeousness of Hugh Grant, we want to see him strut his stuff. Two testicles are not a necessity at this dog show - but they'll not be discriminated against.

4. Prettiest Bitch - No, not a contest between Anne Robinson and Joan Rivers - we're looking for lovely-looking lady dogs!

Blue blood not an issue; pedigree or mutt - are all welcome.

5. Vintage Pooch - Is your dog seven years or older? This is his or her chance to be in the spotlight. There'll be a telegram for all those who are the equivalent of 100 human years. (Make sure that any competing oldies are fit and well as we want them to have a lovely day.)

6. Shining Example - Does your dog exude health - with a cold, wet nose and a shiny coat? Teeth white, and nails all neat and tidy? Dazzle the crowd!

7. Best doggie Family - We're looking for canine cohabitees - not necessarily blood relatives. If you have two or more dogs that live together in cordial concord, this is your class. We're looking for a happy, harmonious household.

8. Best six legs - Can you make your legs match those of your dogs? We’ve seen hairy boots before used to good affect – but we take our hats off to any innovative augmentation that raises a smile! If you are naturally hairy, why not do a Julia Robertson and show those hairy legs off with pride!

9. Ear ‘Ear - Does your dog have gorgeous ears? Big, small, erect, laid back? Velvety soft and smooth? All pink and delicate? Or flouncy and bouncy in a Laurence-Llewelyn-Bowen sort of way? If you take pride in your dog’s aural appendages this class should get you pricking up your ears!

10. Melting expression - Can your dog persuade you to go walkies in a hurricane or get you to part with some lunch even when your starving? This is their chance to star! Just let them roll their big sad eyes in the judges direction.

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